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Is this the beginning or the end?
It is what it is...
So where to start? Oh yeah, the beginning. I hope I do not waste too much of your time. I am wasting my own. If nothing else hopefully I will learn how to type without looking at the keyboard. Doubt it. If you know anything about me, you know I procrastinate. You are thinking about me succeeding as a writer…umm you’re not. When I tell you I will be a working writer, you can do one of two things, laugh really hard or slightly raise the right side of your lip and squint your right eye a little, you know give me the “poor bastard look.” What is this dude doing wasting his and our time?
For those who do not know me, let me give you a little bit of me and my family’s background. I was born in Tallahassee, Florida on the 5th of August 1974. Dr. Cooper and a team of nurses at Tallahassee Memorial Hospital, (TMH,) delivered me. That is me below, Sambizle, (I love nicknames as you will soon see, that is of course if you keep reading,) in my mothers’ arms and my brother on the right, Roger Powell Robinson Jr. aka Pwilly. Roger Powell Robinson Sr., aka Dad gave him that nickname, was born on the 1st of August 1972, at TMH. My mother with the beautiful semi-brushed afro below, is Martha Jane Robinson aka, Granny Jane. Mom was born in Quincy, Florida on the 10th of January 1944. Dad was born on the 9th of September 1945, in Jacksonville, Florida. My little brother Henry (Hank) Emmons Robinson III, aka Buck was born on the 17th of March 1977, also at TMH. In 1979, dad was hired as the Public Works Director for the City of Fort Myers, so we moved right before the new year to Cape Coral, aka Crap Comma.
I had the honor and shame of being nominated and winner of class clown at Cape Coral High School, home of the Seahawks. I tried out for the freshman basketball team and somehow made it (Granny Jane was the dean, do the math.) Speaking of math, I had a 1.4 GPA my first semester. I was the only full-time bench warmer. Not due to unathletic prowess, but because of my supreme intellect. I am American, so it is a must that I spread the blame around. Dr. Guttery my pediatrician, since I was five with a nudge…more like a kick in the ass from Big Pharma had been prescribing me and little children all over America speed, sorry I meant medicine. I was prescribed Dextroamphetamine, which is a central nervous system stimulant and an amphetamine enantiomer that is prescribed for the treatment of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and narcolepsy. In addition, it is used as an athletic performance and cognitive enhancer, unfortunately it did not help my basketball career, either. The summer before high school he took me off it. Since I couldn’t sleep at night it led to me sleeping through the first four periods. It ruined my ability to get a good night’s sleep for the rest of my life. Forty-two years later I still have a terrible time falling and staying asleep.
That was then this is now. I do not have a real job, not even a fake job. I guess we can count this as a real-fake job? I am hopeful, it will make me famous not only as a know-it-all blogger, but enough to get me a spot on Realtime with Bill Maher. Bill and I can smoke some of California’s finest sticky-icky-tweeds after the show. I know I should not set my heights too high. Dammit, I just hope I can bring home $200 a month….in US Dollars that is. When you still have bills in the US no matter how inexpensive life is in İzmir, Türkiye. $200 will pay your rent, utilities, and food for a whole month. Thank you, lira! My 2013 Passat in the US is more than that a month. You know the one I obviously can’t fu^%@#^%&’ drive. Screw you dollar and the 75 percent cotton and 25 percent linen you were printed on!
You are wondering why I am living in Turkey. You’re not? Ok, well I’ll tell you anyway. I started working when I was fifteen as a bagger at a grocery store, in Crap Comma. The next 30 years minus two and half years in college and a few months in between a bank job and being hired at Tech Data. I was done. After working there for eleven plus years I was exhausted and wanted to get out. I had been wanting to travel the world for the last ten years. Thanks to Dr. Christopher Ryan, author of a couple books including, Civilized to Death a fantastic piece of literature about society and specifically American society. He is also one of my two favorite podcasters, his being Tangentially Speaking with Christopher Ryan. The other one being Daniele Bolelli who is the author of several books and has two podcasts The Drunken Taoist, and History on Fire. Chris has been traveling a lot of his life, at one point living in Barcelona, Spain for 20 years. Listening to him talk about his travels was the final push I needed to make that leap. I started in Barcelona of course and went to a few more countries. I will write about some of those adventures in future posts. That is if there are future posts. Wait, I am getting way ahead of myself, I have to post this one first.
Now let us talk about one of the most important days of my life. I was four months into my world travel almost a quarter of the way around the world, in Izmir, Turkey. It was Thursday night, June 20th, 2019, in Alsancak, a large quarter located within the boundaries of the metropolitan district of Konak. There in the historic center of the city, I was at La Puerta with a Moroccan fellow who was staying at the same hostel I was. It is a pub with a nice variety of IPAs, something you can only find in a couple bars in Izmir, there I met my wife, Zeynep. And right there is where my world tour ended. In the future, with her consent I will write more about the beautiful travels we have shared. Turkey is one of the best countries to travel in. Whether you like ancient history, beach resorts or huge spreads of fresh fruits and vegetables, seafood and lamb, Turkey is an absolute must. Did I tell it is inexpensive? As I write this 1 USD is 13.60 lira.
Let us get back to the beginning. It took me two and a half hours just to set up my account and it is still not how I want it. I was able to write four sentences of this post in 5 minutes, then I started fiddling with the settings. Big mistake. Fonts, italics, bold, oh my! Which email address do I want to use? Do I want a title? Do I want a subtitle? Do I want a header? Do I want a footer? Do I want a picture at the top? Do I want a picture at the bottom? Neither? Both? And all that was just for the welcome email. Damn, this stuff is stressful.
This is supposed to be going somewhere…
Ahh that’s right, it’s supposed to go to the end.
I hope you made it, I barely did.